Alternate English Title: The Dragon, the Hero
87 Minutes
Contains moderate violence and brief sexual violence

ZOOM John Liu. Image courtesy Brentwood.

Director Godfrey Ho Chi-keung has been responsible for some truly appalling motion pictures and this one is certainly no undiscovered gem either. It does, however, offer an abundance of demented fun, along with some high quality kung fu. SECRET RIVALS stars John Liu Chung-liang and Tino Wong Cheung are masters of the deadly Strike Rock Fist technique carrying on a personal feud that began in the previous generation. Their paths eventually cross, thanks to martial arts contests being staged for the amusement of crippled, pasty-faced pervert Chan Lau (whose sai lo was bitten off by a dog after he tried to rape a young woman several years earlier). Phillip Ko Fei plays Chan's right hand man, a powerful fighter who finishes off any contestant unfortunate to actually win a bout. Dragon Lee also occasionally pops up in the narrative to clobber various miscreants,

Liu displays some customarily amazing legwork and the protracted climactic bout is terrific but it is the eccentric touches and goofy dubbing that most viewers will savor. Bolo Yeung plays a sauntering ape of a fighter with hairy toes (when his opponent gets one look at Bolo's considerable chest he exclaims, "Wow, I must pick your fruits!"), while Ko carries around an egg timer ("When the sand is done, my Eagle's Claw will have won!") and invents his own style of fighting that supposedly incorporates aspects of every known technique. Chan's character (who subsists on a tonic made from bugs and frogs) is supposedly confined to his wheelchair but, by the final reel, he has transformed into a frothing beast ("You ought to be put down! You've got rabies!") who practices a ridiculous form of kung fu he calls "The Mad Dog Technique"! Let's also not forget the requisite eccentric master, who gets his tobacco fix by smoking an entire pack of cigarettes at once! With Feng Sing (appearing briefly as one of the three fighters who take on Liu in his first match), actor/director David Wu Tai-wai (as the martial world's scrawniest proponent) and music stolen wholesale from STAR WARS, SORCERER, and DAWN OF THE DEAD.

Resolution is fair at best and colors are quite oversaturated; cropping is a near-constant annoyance. The word "bullshit" has been blipped from the soundtrack, indicating that this is a TV print. Xenon's DVD (now discontinued) is cropboxed at 1.85:1 but derived from the UK release, which is cut by 3 minutes. That said, it does include more of the infamous castration scene and a better assembly of the last battle (which has been slightly re-edited in the US print).

88 Minutes
Contains moderate violence

ZOOM Dragon Lee. Image courtesy Brentwood.

More typical of Godfrey Ho's output, this contemporary effort stars Dragon Lee as martial expert Han Lung, who arrives in town looking for vengeance after his brother is murdered by a gang of extortionists. Their leader (dubbed by some clown doing a fifth-rate Humphrey Bogart imitation) tries to force a family off of their farm, in order to use the property for a hotel. After working for a while as a cook (and pummelling the requisite number of troublemakers), Han gets a job at the farm, which is lucky for the owners, as the gangsters decide to start getting rough. With the help of a young expert (REVENGE OF THE DRUNKEN MASTER's Johnny Chan), Han sets about cleaning house. While there is no shortage of goofy moments (Donald Kong To spends most of the picture sporting a wig that is identical to his

Colors are overly hot but the image is reasonably good. The sound features the usual weaknesses, as well as one amusingly strange gaffe: every 10 minutes, an audio technician's voice comes on the track and says things like "OK, I'm coming to the end of Segment 1. Out and back in on double beeps." Once again, any and all swearing has been removed from the track.

Japanese: Shorinji kenpo
86 Minutes
Contains brutal violence and brief sexual violence

ZOOM Sonny Chiba. Image courtesy Brentwood.

Things, thankfully, take a major upswing with this brisk, well-produced Sonny Chiba vehicle directed by Norifumi Suzuki (SHOGUN'S NINJA) and based on the life of Shorinji Kenpo master Doshin So. Following Japan's defeat in WWII, the country is plunged into economic and social chaos. Iron soldier So (Chiba) is unable to live with the disgrace his country now experiences and dedicates himself to helping the unfortunate. Eventually, though, his battles with black marketeers and inhuman American GIs force him to flee Osaka. Relocating to a new area, So establishes a Shaolin martial arts school and finds a number of receptive disciples. This is fortunate,as there are still many miscreants to be dealt with. The proceedings get melodramatic at times, but not destructively so, and the English dubbing is above average. As usual, Chiba's martial arts may not be

Brentwood's master is identical to the one utilized by Prism Entertainment for their 1985 tape release. The image is usually pale and brownish, with plenty of speckles on the source print. The splice line tends to be visible at the bottom of the screen when shots change and, like most of Chiba's films, the scope photography does not adapt well to 1.33:1. Overall, it's still watchable and several of Chiba's films have arrived on video looking worse. The VHS tape the master was sourced from has some mild damage.

Rage of the Dragon
(1979; Asso Asia Film Production)

Alternate English Title: Mission for the Dragon
90 Minutes
Contains mild violence

ZOOM Carter Wong. Image courtesy Brentwood.

Another Godfrey Ho stinker, this snoozer features Dragon Lee as a young master out to find his missing father, who has been accused of murder. The son of the dead man decides to eliminate Lee as recompense but is temporarily dissuaded by a local antiques collector (Carter Wong), who suffers from light sensitivity. However, this benevolence is really just part of a ruse to hide Wong's guilt, which arises from his desire to possess a priceless royal statue. There is absolutely no logic to the way Wong's eye problem is handled (he seems to wear his shades more often indoors than out!) or anything else here...and what is the story with the comic relief supporting character who goes through the entire movie with a piece of mud (or worse) stuck to his nose? The film is further burdened by some of the

The Crippled Masters
(1982)

88 Minutes
Contains moderate violence

ZOOM Image courtesy Brentwood.

Chang Cheh's CRIPPLED AVENGERS (1978) told of how a group of disabled men used unusual forms of kung fu to overcome their physical limitations and get revenge upon the man who destroyed their lives. This cheap production takes that premise and "improves" upon it by using actual disabled performers as the leads. Disfigured hunchbacked ganglord Lin Cheng-kung has his men chop off the arms of underling Lee Ho. After enduring untold cruelty and humiliation at the hands of uncaring townsfolk, Lee meets up with a kindly farmer, who helps him regain his strength and confidence. One day, Lee encounters a second victim of Lin's cruelty, Cheng Siu-ching, who had his legs dissolved with acid. An elderly master (who likes to sleep folded up inside a steaming basket) suggests that the men become "two parts of a whole" and concocts the necessary exercises,

New Line Cinema released THE CRIPPLED MASTERS to domestic theatres and on tape and laserdisc before their rights (presumably) expired. Brentwood has utilized a duplicate of their master for this presentation. While the cropping and somewhat soft appearance make this a weak rendering by major studio standards, it is above average for an Old School transfer. Even the audio is clearer and less distorted than usual. New Line's version bears no credits other than the title; reference sources list Joe Law Chi as the director, and Frankie Sum Si-wah and Jack Chow Se-tung as the stars.

Ninja Turf
(1985; Action Brothers Productions)

Alternate English Titles: Chinatown, Los Angeles Streetfighter
82 Minutes
Contains moderate violence, coarse language, nudity, and mild sexual content

ZOOM James Lew. Image courtesy Brentwood.

There isn't a ninja within a hundred miles of this awful U.S./South Korean co-production, which was shot MOS and horribly post-synced. Ubiquitous DTV supporting actor James Lew (whose teased 80s hair seriously works against his tough guy image here) plays the leader of a high school extortion gang facing opposition from honest student Phillip Rhee (from the BEST OF THE BEST series) and his tough buddy (Jun Chong). The latter makes the mistake of stealing money from some mobsters, who proceed to kidnap his friends, leading to the inevitable showdown in an empty building. The fights are rarely better than mediocre, while everything else is aimless, boring filler and many of the actors playing students are halfway to getting their social security checks. This evidently had some success back home as director Richard Park Woo-sang went on to helm a 1993 sequel,

Deadly Kick
(1976; Taechang Productions)

99 Minutes
Contains brutal violence, torture, mild sexual violence, brief nudity, and mild sexual content

ZOOM Bobby Kim. Image courtesy Brentwood.

Another South Korean production, DEADLY KICK stars Lo Lieh (who also co-directed with Young Nam-koh) as an ex-con who becomes involved with a smuggling ring and is pursued by a woman he raped and blinded. Also searching for him is Charles Bronson lookalike Bobby Kim (THE MANCHURIAN AVENGER), whose character belonged to the same martial arts society and cannot forgive Lo for his betrayal of their master. He does, however, enter into an uneasy partnership with Lo as part of his plan to take out a Yakuza boss. The story plods along with all the excitement and danger of a molasses avalanche and the choreography is terrible (Lo is supposedly so fast and deadly, we don't even see him hit his opponents in one fight!), though the blind female avenger at least provides some novelty. The movie does have one moment few viewers will forget: in a bit of overkill

The image is rather soft and colors a tad pale, and digital instability can be noted in some backgrounds. The sound is very tinny and hard on the ears, a weakness heightened by a truly awful score, and there is some heavy damage on the VHS source. Incidentally, if you've seen another Lo/Kim film called DEADLY ROULETTE, then you've already seen DEADLY KICK, as this is just a bizarre re-edit of ROULETTE (released on tape in the 80s by Ocean Shores). The plot has been reworked and some footage from another picture has been added to the mix.

Fists of Bruce Lee
(1978)

94 Minutes
Contains moderate violence

ZOOM Bruce Li. Image courtesy Brentwood.

After three Dragon Lee outings, here is one with Bruce Li, the best of the Bogus Bruces. Li (who also directed under his real name, Ho Chung-tao) plays a security expert hired by a crotchety old rich man to make his mansion safe. However, he turns around and conspires with a gang (whose ranks include THE CHINESE CONNECTION's Wei Ping-ao, cast as yet another irritating little weasel) to kidnap the man's daughter for a hefty ransom. To the surprise of few in the audience (and no one who read Brentwood’s synopsis), Li is actually an undercover agent working to take down some mobsters who are battling for possession of a name list. Li holds off on the overt Bruce Lee mannerisms and the fighting is fairly good but the storyline is almost entirely uninteresting and one's attention frequently wanders during the half-hearted attempts at character

Tattoo Connection
(1978)

Alternate English Title: Black Belt Jones 2
87 Minutes (at 25 frames-per-second)
Contains moderate violence, torture, and nudity

ZOOM Tan Tao-liang. Image courtesy Brentwood.

Despite wide exposure in ENTER THE DRAGON, Jim Kelly never made it to the top ranks of martial arts action stars, though not for lack of trying. This HK production has a modest budget but a quality director (Lee Tso-nam) and a terrific cast of genre favorites to back up its imported star. Nicknamed "The Black Six Million Dollar Man," former CIA agent Kelly (looped by someone else) is sent to HK on a mission to retrieve the North Pole Star diamond. The culprits are a group of thieves led by Chen Sing, all of whom have eagle tattoos. The gang's lieutenant, Tan Tao-liang, displays an unusual amount of compassion for a hoodlum, a character trait that should tip-off even the dimmest audience member as to the direction the plot will likely take. When Chen forces himself on Tan's exotic dancer girlfriend and, later, breaks a promise, Tan decides to join forces with the American.

Kelly: Your Chinese legs aren't bad.

Tan: I thank you. How does defeat taste?

Bruce Liang/Leung Siu-sung (who also served as fight choreographer), Bolo Yeung, Lee Hoi-sang, and Donald Kong To also appear.

Alas, this is the worst presentation of the lot. Contrasts are weak and the resolution is on par with EP mode VHS. The half inch tape master (a shoddy PAL conversion) also contains dropouts and glitches and, in the final half hour, there are major tracking problems that mess up the image and audio. There is the usual wear on the print plus a weird stain pattern on reel 2 that takes up so much of the screen, it deserves supporting billing. Brentwood managed to get both the running time and the title wrong ("Tattoo Collection") in their write-up.

Militant Eagle
(1978; Chia Hsin Film Co/Yi Yun Film Co/Muse International Film Corporation)

93 Minutes
Contains moderate violence and torture

ZOOM Pai Ying (centre) and Ling Yun. Image courtesy Brentwood.

The set concludes with Li Chia-chi's MILITANT EAGLE, a passable period yarn starring Barry Chan as a former soldier now making a living as a street performer. Thrown out of a small town by corrupt officials (who collect "taxes" from the people, in brazen opposition to an Imperial decree forbidding such extortion), Chan finds allies in the form of butcher Sit Hon and a young maiden, whose relatives were murdered as retribution for their opposition to the rampant corruption. A government representative arrives and plans to prosecute those involved but a dart-flinging assassin (Ling Yun) and a power mad ex-general (Pai Ying) have other plans. The storyline (which contains the expected elements of mystery and betrayal) is sufficiently interesting to compensate for the fact that there is not much in the way of martial arts until the extended climax. Nancy Yen Nan-hsi, Tsai

Colors are fairly vibrant but the image is dark, soft, and dupey, and the sound suffers from the usual liabilities. Brief digital break-up and some VHS dropouts do not help.

TOUGH GUYS OF KUNG FU is available at Poker Industries.